Best plan ever!

Today was the first day of Orientation week. Most of the day’s events were geared toward people living in the residences, and since I’m living off campus, I didn’t go to them.

I did however decide to go to the orientation kick-off where they, as one may cleverly assume, kick off the orientation. Of course, this would be the perfect time to make new friends. People are alone and far from home; who wouldn’t want someone to talk to.

I started off my quest to become the university’s top socialite by attending the event and using the cunning tactic of not speaking to a single fucking person.

It may appear that I was trying to shroud myself in mystery, but no, that would only make me look pretentious. My real goal was to telepathically communicate to the several hundred people there that I am awesome, and that they should immediately do everything in their power to get close to me. Obviously, there are some flaws in this plan, me not being telepathic and me being socially retarded are the main ones, but it seems to be coming along nicely.

Oh yes, this approach will surely lead me to victory.