"What are you reading?" "Parry Hotter"

I’m alive! I find it hard to believe too.

It’s been a while since my last actual entry, and a lot has happened.

F did end up taking me to the casino, which was an experience. She told me that I wouldn’t have to bring anything, because she’d give me gambling money as a birthday present. I’m glad that I did not listen to her because she apparently thinks that twenty-five dollars is enough to finance a wild life.

She has a fondness for those insipid slot machines, and bets as low as they’ll let her. I had to stand idly by while she lost five dollars on a machine that cost two cents per play. Never again. She calls it being cautious, and I call it being boring. She is an accountant down to her heart.

I found myself drawn to the roulette wheel, which, by the by, had a minimum bet of twenty-five dollars a spin. I lost a bit this way, but I feel it was worth it. F, for reasons that I do understand, feels that I am insane.

We bought alcoholic drinks, and that was very novel. We drank them while listening to a live band doing “Drops of Jupiter” which was actually better than the original. That man had an amazing voice. Amazing. I seriously hope he gets a deal somewhere, because more people need to hear that voice.

A few weeks ago I had another adventure with F. I believe she calls this adventure “The one where Alandrea insisted we pull over so that the soaking wet drunk girl falling into the street could flirt with barfing in my car.” It was pretty funny, and also the first time I’ve been seriously propositioned for lesbian sex. I hope that girl’s okay though; she was pretty out of it. We dropped her off at her house, which was apparently where the party was moving, so at least we know she was looked after.

In other news, my father has been very ill. He went in for an operation recently though, and he’s starting to get better. He honestly thought that he was going to die on the table. I found it a ridiculous fear. I’m very angry though because, thinking that there was a very good chance that he was going to die, he left for the operation, with my mother, without saying goodbye to me. That I understand why he... why they would do that does make me less furious, but only a very, very little.

Exams are over, for now. I think I did generally okay, though there were some moments of less-than-brilliance. I distinctly remember writing that one of Erikson’s stages was ice cream vs. cake, and I think that probably wasn’t in my study notes. Overall... well, I doubt I’ll be winning any awards, but I’m pretty sure I’ve passed everything.

My fingers are getting tired, so that’s all for now. Most of the rest of what I have to talk about is angst, the return of angst, the bride of angst, the return of the bride of angst with the son of angst, and Angst: it’s really angsty now: Special Edition. So I’ll try keeping that to myself for a bit.

So I got 100% on that assignment I danced for. Effort did not go to waste. Tomorrow I’m presenting slam poetry in a group for Writer’s Craft. It’s kind of scary that it’s almost over. I’ll miss seeing Wren; I have Breaton again next semester. It’ll be even stranger though, most returning grade 12s are just here for the first semester. I’d say I’d get lonely, but I don’t have much more than superficial conversations with them anyways.

I’m glad that I’ll be able to say that I enjoyed high school, but by no means am I going to think of it as the best years of my life. Some days I think I’m going to have a really cool future. I’m not going to be anything like any of the multitude of people I thought I’d become, but that’s not a bad thing. Overall, I’m content with myself and the path I’m on, which is something I’m really lucky to be able to say.

I got letters from university. They said thanks for applying, so I’m still a bit stressed... but I’ll probably get in.

Tomorrow I’m going out with F and R. We’re going to have dinner somewhere, and maybe exchange gifts. I don’t feel very social right now, but I’m sure I’ll end up having fun.

On Monday I’m going out with Fl. It’s been a while, and he looked really puzzled when he saw me a few days ago. It always makes me feel awkward when people look at me like they can’t figure me out, though that happens a lot. It probably happens to everyone.

I found some things I really wanted today in a store that I was hoping but wasn’t really expecting to find treasures in. Very awesome.

Tomorrow’s the longest night of the year; I guess that makes it the real new-year, not January the first. Maybe I’m missing something.

Wren’s been bringing in paper for us to make origami cranes. We’re making 1000 for her husband. It’s cool really; she’s got 450ish so far. She also bakes us cake. It was delishous, and her husband wrote, “MAKE ART THEN DIE” on it, with a lovely picture of a skull (which I ate) in pink, and a less successful picture of a crane. I’m sure he will get well. Scientifically things are looking good for him, and I don’t have a particular belief system, but I’m sure so many people thinking positive, helpful things about him must be doing some good.

It’s getting late now, and I need to be well rested so I can display my awesomeness to its full capacity tomorrow.

So I went to see 300 last night. It was not quite as manly as I expected it to be, but that’s because it’s been too built up. Everywhere you go people are like “300, it’s the epitome of testosterone,” so you get these high expectations. There was quite a lot of sex and violence though, and the special effects were very well done, so I approve.

I have to say though, seeing Xerxes, I expected him to have a really effeminate voice. Also, there’s a scene where Leonidas is just standing there naked, so R pipes up with a loud “What the hell?” and the guy behind us explains quite matter of factly “It is the warrior stance”. Good times were had by all, including almost theatre wide laughter when I blew my nose (luckily not during the movie itself) because I sound like a fog-horn.

Before the movie we went to out to the woods. I told the girls to stay in the car, but did they listen? No. So they went into the woods while I stayed as far away from nature as physically possible and hoped that they’d get attacked by deer. Lucky day for me. A herd of, as I hear it, twenty deer comes barreling towards them. As R was trying to pee. (I myself remain completely ignorant as to why anybody would want to urinate in the woods, I mean, toilets were available)

In any case, I’m sure the neighbourhood appreciated our presence, the terrified screaming of two girls followed by my absolutely evil laughter, then silence. This is made even more pertinent by the fact that our school is right beside these woods and most of our teachers had stayed late that day.

Anyways, they came running back to me and the car and we went to Zehrs to argue about the merits of different cheeses for half an hour. Life is fun.