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So it wasn’t pneumonia. My dog has cancer.
The vet said he had about a week to live; we’re going to have to take him in when it gets too bad.
It’s in his lungs, but it didn’t start there. We don’t know where it started. The vet said that this is a really bad city for it. He’s seen more cases since he came here than he ever saw anywhere else. He gave us some meds to alleviate the pain. Mother said that it was the stuff they use on humans too.
Mother’s still sort of in denial. She’s an adult, and doing what she needs to do, but she’s spent all this time denying things, and she’s not ready to stop yet. I think I resent her a little for that. I’d like to be in denial, but I can’t be. It’s just not me.
I found the way the doctor told us interesting. He was quick to say that it was cancer, but after that he took his time. I think it took over a minute to tell us that it couldn’t be treated, and even after that I had to ask how long he had to live.
When I got home I told father, and I think I probably didn’t do it in the way you’re supposed to. I just told him that “Edward has about a week to live; he’s got cancer.” but I don’t think my bluntness put him off. He touched my shoulder, and told me that he was sorry, and that he loved Edward and he loved me. Then he wandered off.
I’m glad that it was something unpreventable, something that even if I’d insisted we see the vet about earlier, nothing could have been done about. Even so, I really, really hate this. I’m like some pathetic child screaming “No! Don’t leave me!” I held him and cried as much as I could on the ride home. I don’t know what I’m going to be like without him. I’m scared.
The vet said he had about a week to live; we’re going to have to take him in when it gets too bad.
It’s in his lungs, but it didn’t start there. We don’t know where it started. The vet said that this is a really bad city for it. He’s seen more cases since he came here than he ever saw anywhere else. He gave us some meds to alleviate the pain. Mother said that it was the stuff they use on humans too.
Mother’s still sort of in denial. She’s an adult, and doing what she needs to do, but she’s spent all this time denying things, and she’s not ready to stop yet. I think I resent her a little for that. I’d like to be in denial, but I can’t be. It’s just not me.
I found the way the doctor told us interesting. He was quick to say that it was cancer, but after that he took his time. I think it took over a minute to tell us that it couldn’t be treated, and even after that I had to ask how long he had to live.
When I got home I told father, and I think I probably didn’t do it in the way you’re supposed to. I just told him that “Edward has about a week to live; he’s got cancer.” but I don’t think my bluntness put him off. He touched my shoulder, and told me that he was sorry, and that he loved Edward and he loved me. Then he wandered off.
I’m glad that it was something unpreventable, something that even if I’d insisted we see the vet about earlier, nothing could have been done about. Even so, I really, really hate this. I’m like some pathetic child screaming “No! Don’t leave me!” I held him and cried as much as I could on the ride home. I don’t know what I’m going to be like without him. I’m scared.
I look pretty good without eyebrows by the way. I think I'm one of the few people in the world who can pull it off. Of course, I could just have no sense of aesthetics whatsoever. But I think I'm good.
Mine are growing back surprisingly quickly. I already have enough stubble to make drawing them on when I go out in public (and do things like get my student ID card picture taken) easy and not terribly noticeable.
It is slightly unpleasant that eyebrow pencils come in only three colours: way too light, just a little too light, and way too dark. But I'm working the "just a little too light", and there haven't been any big problems.
I'd usually think that doing something like what I've done is silly, but it's helped me deal with my emotions, and, excepting some parental distress, it hasn't hurt anybody.
I feel a lot better for it.
Mine are growing back surprisingly quickly. I already have enough stubble to make drawing them on when I go out in public (and do things like get my student ID card picture taken) easy and not terribly noticeable.
It is slightly unpleasant that eyebrow pencils come in only three colours: way too light, just a little too light, and way too dark. But I'm working the "just a little too light", and there haven't been any big problems.
I'd usually think that doing something like what I've done is silly, but it's helped me deal with my emotions, and, excepting some parental distress, it hasn't hurt anybody.
I feel a lot better for it.
Chronic is dead. It's sad, but it's good as well; she was in a lot of pain. When I saw her last night she was mewling with every movement. I think she died at around two in the morning, but I can't be perfectly sure.
( Cut for unpleasantness. )
( Cut for unpleasantness. )
It's just like a speed-bump!
Jul. 9th, 2007 10:05 pmI’m going out with F when she gets off work. She spent the last week in Florida going to Disneyland, MGM Studios and NASCAR races and it sounds like she had a lot of fun. I am however feeling a bit of bloodlust fury.
( Cut for people who don't like to read about what happens when a kid gets run down. )
I'm going to go out with her. We're going to drive around and sing along with the radio. We're going to talk about how much she loved or hated the rides at Disneyland and how nice the beach was. We're going to talk about how her family got on each other's nerves. And I'm going to do my best to make sure she doesn't worry too much or feel too bad.
I hope he'll be okay. He probably will be, I'm just prone to panic. Still, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
( Cut for people who don't like to read about what happens when a kid gets run down. )
I'm going to go out with her. We're going to drive around and sing along with the radio. We're going to talk about how much she loved or hated the rides at Disneyland and how nice the beach was. We're going to talk about how her family got on each other's nerves. And I'm going to do my best to make sure she doesn't worry too much or feel too bad.
I hope he'll be okay. He probably will be, I'm just prone to panic. Still, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
So, I’m definitely not going to prom. It’s one of those things that makes you go “Oh, but won’t I regret this in five years time? Am I just wasting my youth?” but I’m pretty sure it’s for the best. You see, our prom is not school sanctioned, which means that there will be no adults there who aren’t in relationships with highschoolers. Having no adults there means that the beer funnel will be the main method of intake. As projectile vomiting is not something I enjoy watching, and I know that the roads will be flooded with drunk drivers on that night, it’s better for me to just go out with a few close friends to a nice place where they probably wouldn’t allow my highschool to have their prom anyways.*
I don’t know, I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s for the best, but I’m already decided that I’m not going, so I should just shut up and take it like a woman.§
Why, may an inquisitive person ask, is there not a school-sanctioned Prom where teachers can make sure that no-one is going to die from alcohol poisoning? Well, it’s quite simple really. The last time the school sanctioned a Prom some kid got drunk anyways and drove into a telephone pole, killing himself. The completely logical parents then sued the school-board.Ф
In any case, I should get to bed. I have an oral exam tomorrow for french and, while I think I know all the required vocabulary, I’m sure that something will manage to sneak up on me. Things do. Д
* See projectile vomiting. Establishments don’t appreciate that.±
± Originally that said nice establishments, but I’m pretty sure it counts for just about everywhere.
§ Though according to what I’ve heard, that does involve a lot of complaining.
Ф Because it was definitely the fault of the teachers who were looking after more than a hundred other kids at the same time, none of whom were causing more apparent problems. It certainly wasn’t bad parenting and the kid’s own stupidity because, you know, no-one ever tells you that bad things can happen if you drive while intoxicated.
Д Such as the sudden realisation that I know what none of these little symbols mean, and that I probably should.
I don’t know, I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s for the best, but I’m already decided that I’m not going, so I should just shut up and take it like a woman.§
Why, may an inquisitive person ask, is there not a school-sanctioned Prom where teachers can make sure that no-one is going to die from alcohol poisoning? Well, it’s quite simple really. The last time the school sanctioned a Prom some kid got drunk anyways and drove into a telephone pole, killing himself. The completely logical parents then sued the school-board.Ф
In any case, I should get to bed. I have an oral exam tomorrow for french and, while I think I know all the required vocabulary, I’m sure that something will manage to sneak up on me. Things do. Д
* See projectile vomiting. Establishments don’t appreciate that.±
± Originally that said nice establishments, but I’m pretty sure it counts for just about everywhere.
§ Though according to what I’ve heard, that does involve a lot of complaining.
Ф Because it was definitely the fault of the teachers who were looking after more than a hundred other kids at the same time, none of whom were causing more apparent problems. It certainly wasn’t bad parenting and the kid’s own stupidity because, you know, no-one ever tells you that bad things can happen if you drive while intoxicated.
Д Such as the sudden realisation that I know what none of these little symbols mean, and that I probably should.
